I thought my last post which I copied and pasted from my new blog (openyoursoultohealing.blogspot.com) <em>Chasing my passion</em> was the end of Saturn Returns. As, I started to exit this site I noticed the date 5/29/2011 and chuckled to myself, I realized that I started this blog nearly a year to this date. What an interesting coincidence....I've learned so much and am so grateful for having this vehicle to document my growth. I'm sad to end this blog (my baby) but feel this is just the beginning.I'm ending this blog to start a new chapter in my life but feel my life is limitless.
I'm no longer 29 years old going or 30 trying to figure out what my life is going to be. I'm 30 years old and am pretty confident that I'm following a spiritual path that will serve many people. I'm many things but a healer for certain. My friends and family sort of chuckle at me and raise an eyebrow at this idea - that's ok. I feel like this year through positve and even perceived negative experiences (which we're also positive via lessons); I've learned to love myself, strengthened my faith, see beauty in all things, humble myself ( still learning), started to eliminate fearful behavior resulted in me clinging on to things that no longer serve because I thought that was all I had, the difference between forgiveness and allowing repeated offenses, Self - Worth, Confidence, true meaning of happiness free from stuff ( money, title, relationship status, etc), and many other things....
I haven't conquered all these lessons but know how to extract them from almost any situation and continue to apply them to my life. It's very liberating to know who I am and to have found my purpose. I still have to work on developing my intuition, communicating better, and relying on my own understanding versus what I'm told to believe. It's a process but one I welcome. I'm ready to stand in my true strength above influence.
" There is no competition and no comparison for we are all different and meant to be that way. I am special just the way I am It is safe for me to love myself. I am truly blessed." Dr. Dee
I received my last direct deposit from my job. *sigh* Payday is usually a joyous occassion for me but this deposit left me with mixed emotions. It finally hit me that, I've let go of my saftey blanket in order to serve my spirit.
I felt afraid this morning because society deems our educational backgroud, relationship status, and job title as a reflection of ones self worth or determines if we are worthy of respect. Obviously, apart of me aligned with this ideology but I've finally found the courage to break free and be authentic. I guess this post is meant to acknowledge that following ones heart takes courage and faith, positivity, and the strength to leave stressful situations behind ( fear). My solution has been to pray and meditate.
I self treated myself with Reiki and set an intetnton on my money honey; using the 3 I's.
1. Intend to increase prosperity
2. Intuition to learn ways to create more abundance in life and savings.
3. Integrity in the ways that I earn my living and knowing money isn't bad.
I also did a Root Chakra cleanse and for those of you who don't know why I'd do that , heres a definition and positive affirmations for this chakra.
The Root Chakra is located at the base of the spine or coccyx. This Chakra is related to survival, our body and identity as an individual. Our health, constitution and security including material wealth are also linked to the root chakra.
Positive affirmations for this chakra- - I know who I am and make choices based on what I know to be right for me.
- I am supported in life through all my choices to do good and share the light of love. - My body supports me in living a creative and happy life. - I am open to the spirit of life, which carries me beyond my original limits to a higher, more creative space. - I am thankful for all the opportunities for growth and development that have come my way. - I am grateful for the challenges that have taught me who I truly am. - I love life.
I did the cleanse post prayer, self reiki, and immediately felt better. Fear and self doubt is completely natural especially when chartering unknown territory. However, I firmly believe our attitude or state of minds determines the outcome. My current state of mind - I'm ready to be extraordinary!!!! :)
I had a wonderful weekend - May 21st began with my partner and I participating in a Women's Wellness Fair. We both provided Reiki service for any attende interested. Our sessions were provided in tandem double the energy for our clients :) and we were rewarded with positive feedback as a result. Feedback is very important whether positive or negative because it helps us become better healers. Personally, I like to know what the client may be experiencing energywise because I'm curious as to whether we're experiencing the same things or their experiences mirror other clients Reiki session. I also enjoy hearing past and present stories involving others experiences with Reiki - always amazing.
After the fair, my partner and I had a very late lunch and rushed back to my house to drop off the massage table. I had a concert to attend and was very excited about it. I had to see Adele around 8pm. Plan B opened for her and they surprised me with their electic mix of Reggea, Rap, R&B, and Doo Wop - I really enjoyed their performance. Adele came out around 9pm, the crowd went nuts, and the energy was just electrifying. Adele's voice filled the entire theatre, beautiful, raw, and touching. She not only has a great voice but a fantastic, playful, smart personality. During one of her mini breaks after a song she said " Singing is my passion, I'm so lucky that my job is my passion and it allows me to travel, see things, meet new people, and live music." It made me think of all the years, I sat at my cubicle staring out the window wishing my life were different or I were lucky enough to live my passion. I realized then that I could live my passion. I could enjoy my career as much as Adele does ......I'm the boss of my life. I left the concert feeling inspired.
I went into the next day injected with this sense of purpose. It didn't hurt that I was doing volunteer work the next day as a Reiki practioneer for women battling breast cancer youcanthrive.org (check out this amazing organization). I thought I was going to interview but I was put to work right away which was a blessing because I learned so much. In my heart, I really believe that I'd serve these women but they served me. I learned so much about my modality and how to serve people; emotionally, physically, and mentally.
A Reiki Master demonstrated the flow of energy before and after a session with a cancer patient using a pendelum. If there were any doubts in my mind regarding this modality it was immediately dismissed. Reiki has changed my life. I'm more compassionate, loving, better at self regulating, and everything that was important to me no longer is....
I'm all about progressing along my spiritual path. I hope that I can work in holistic healing full time and be successful. I truly believe energy work needs to be taught to and utilized by all to promote health and wellness. The weekend thats just passed has encouraged me to start turning the tables on society and beliefs about money, love, and life that no longer serves me.
I quit my job on May 14, 2011 which now represents my personal revolution.I was berated by my co - worker for the umpteenth time but this time was different. It was as if I finally realized " I didn't have to accept this type of treatment from her or anyone else. I finally realize my self worth. I AM worthy of respect and deserve better. I deserve the life I desire. I sat at my desk until 4am listening to my soul and made a decision not to live in FEAR but embrace FAITH. I tossed aside all my fears about money, the economy, other peoples approval, and perceptions and decided to LIVE FOR ME!!!
I've decided to use this time to meditate and explore my spirituality. I've always prayed but have now decided to take this time to listen and discover myself.
Who am I without a job?
Who am I without a steady income?
Who am I without a title?
Who am I removed from my clan; family, company, organizations, etc?
What do i want to do?
Who do I chose to love?
Am I passionate about what I'm doing?
Am I serving anyone?
Am I making a difference?
Am I even writting my own story or living out someone elses plot?
WHO AM I?
I cannot proclaim to have all or any answers but I intend to find out.
I'm now apart of my community garden not to align myself with another "group" but to start doing things , i never had the time to.....
I planted tomatoes, cabbage, lettuce, peppers, sunflowers, peppermint, and thyme. As, I tend to my garden, I will tend to my soul. I will water, fertilized, and expose my health, beliefs about prosperity, self - esteem, and relationships to sunlight so they flourish along with my garden. I promise myself - I will recreate my life and reap the rewards of all I've sown.
