I guess I have to start from the beginning - I declared 2011 to be my year of spiritual growth /evolution and got more way more than I bargained for. My whole life has changed. I'm sitting here at my computer in the same apartment, appearing the same, but a totally different person with a different perspective on life. Things that were important to me even late last year mean nothing to me today. Sometimes I question my sanity; I have no interest in returning to a career that paid me well, still a fashionista but not longer have the " gotta have it disease", have no interest in television because I'd rather live MY LIFE that watch others live their dream, learned to value myself and put up boundaries with strangers, acquaintances, friends, and even family. My relationship to fear has even changed. I no longer fear not having enough or losing love. I now fear not trusting myself completely. However, I know that fear will soon be released because it's apart of my learning process.
A part of learning is asking questions -I've been questioning some of my religious beliefs which has led me to uneducate myself spiritual.My uneducation involves religion. I grew up Seven Day Adventist which involved alot of rules/ rituals; observing the sabbath, no adornments ( earrings), pants, etc . I'm not completely anti - rules but have been asking myself - What does these rules have to do with my relationship to God? I'm slowly learning - NOTHING. My overall belief is treating others the way you'd like to be treated is a good start. I've had the honor of meeting several spiritually evolved people within the last three months whose beliefs are far from traditional. All who I believe are bound to meet our creator which has led me to believe everyone can't be right or even wrong. There are many paths to God.
The path I'm on encourages me to release my fears even fears of questioning my taught beliefs. I'm starting to realize the things I've been taught have prevented me from developing a real relationship with God and my spiritual support system ;Spirit Guides, Power Animal, Guardian Angel, Archangels, etc. Traditional religious teachings teaches us to fear God. I feel as a result we elude his love and help. We feel that if we can't be perfect that we aren't worthy of his blessings and are inferior so rely on others interpretation of God and grace. Many of us turn our backs on God meaning to come back once we are committed to being plain, chaste, poor, etc. We have beliefs about money, equality, abundance, and self worth which affect us negatively impact our lives. How can we love ourselves if we feel unworthy of God's love which is pure and unconditional? Instead we put our faith in religious leaders, government, perceived power, etc. because in our sick minds. They may know something that we don't which makes them better connected. God becomes an abstract concept which many of us don't truly have faith in. Forcing us to live unhappy lives - following rules far from our higher authority out of fear. If we truly believed in God - wouldn't it be OK for us to believe we are the ultimate creators children, therefore worthy of his love and abundance?
I look at the world and the injustices; drop out factories pretending to be educational institutions, wars, enviormental atrocities, corporatized agriculture, wealth imbalance (economy), poverty, hunger, racial inequality, child abuse, scandals surrounding religious figures,etc. I wonder - Why are we buying into men's faulty and misguided interpretations? I'm walking away, relying on my own understanding, and faith......it can't lead me any further off path.
I'm leaving fear behind. it's Ok not to identify with my title, faith, other peoples perception, etc. I can follow my own path and rely on God to miraculously open doors to abundance , wisdom, freedom, and love. I'm ready to claim my inheritance here on earth from my parents in heaven.
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